5 Social (nut) working ‘geniuses’

The internet has brought with itself a lot of progress and a wealth of knowledge for anyone wishing to access it. But along with it, come the unsavory elements such as pornography, spam, viruses etc. Internet 2.0 was the advent of social networking. Hi5, myspace, orkut, facebook, twitter etc. were the most commonly used networks on the internet. But along with it, came the unsavory elements, A.K.A social weirdos. Since the birth of chat and networking, a lot of interesting characters have been around to make the internet a very interesting place. Let’s observe some of these fun people now.

1. Fraansheep Boy/Girl:
Each and every girl (and a few guys) using the internet have come across this kind of creep. Some loser with a photo of Salman Khan or Tom Cruise (or in case of the girls Priyanka Chopra or Katrina Kaif) sends you a random friend request with a message that goes something like, ‘Hi, I saw your profile and found you very interesting. Can we do fraansheep?’ The simple way to deal with these losers is to simply ignore them or send them a fitting reply in really well worded English. These nuts will generally leave you alone after that.

2. Mr. /Ms. I need more friends:
The whole concept of ‘networking’ is wasted on these poor sods. Their main goal in life is to add as many people as possible in a bid to look cool. They LOVE to compete with people and always need to have a higher number of friends on the internet irrespective of the fact that they have never met 99 percent of these people. This type of nut should just not be allowed to use the internet.

3. Mr. /Ms. I need to update my status every 3 seconds:
You know these people because, well, they make sure of the fact that the whole world knows about every little thing that is happening in their life. These people generally have facebook or twitter on their phone and will continuously spam your update section with statuses like ‘Just woke up’, ‘just updated status’, ‘going for shower’, ‘out of shower’. And the worst part is, they seem to comment and like their own statuses even when no-one else gives a damn. Seriously, even the Presidents of the world aren’t so self involved. Stop updating your statuses and get a life! These nuts should just be shot so that they never piss you off with a barrage of updates like ‘wearing clothes’, ‘walking’, ‘sitting’ etc. again.

4. Mr. /Ms. 100000000000000 photos:
Eventually people should realize that no one cares about their stupid pictures and should just STOP uploading every stupid little picture they think is cute. Folks, let me tell you, uploading a picture of your half naked fat boyfriend is NOT cute. STOP TORTURING OUR EYES! No one needs to see a thousand pictures of your brand new slippers or purse or pet tarantula. Please understand that purchasing a digital camera does NOT make you a professional photographer. These nuts should be arrested for carrying anything that can be used to click pictures.

5. Farmville/Yoville/I-will-make-you-hate-me-ville players:
Straight up, these people do not deserve to use the internet. They make it a worse place for themselves and everyone they possibly know. These people have no age or gender barriers. They just decided they had too much time and were wasting too much space in this world to be doing NORMAL things. So they decided to start pissing the entire world off by playing dumb-ass ‘social games’ which cause a limitless amount of frustration to everyone except for themselves and their ‘I-need-to-get-a-life-ville’ buddies. They will constantly harangue you to be their neighbors or ask you to send them a gift. And these are people you can barely frigging remember. If that wasn’t bad enough, you will be continuously spammed with messages like ‘XYZ needs help in building his/her chicken coop (because apparently he/she’s forgotten that in real life he/she still has a mortgage on a REAL house)’ or ‘ABC wants to share his/her happiness (because nothing brings more happiness than fake money and digital animal poo)’ or ‘LMN just leveled up and is now a level 25 jackass’. Quite simply, one more request to be a neighbor or a gift-sender and I am burning all your plants and killing all your animals. Please eliminate this nut from the gene pool.



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